Gifted

Some days I dislike that word, that label. “Gifted” is showing off, “everyone is gifted”, “gifted” is fictional.

But to those it applies to, personally or otherwise, it is a mix of emotions. It is joy and amazement and excitement. Some days it is dread and fear. Gifted is complicated, different, painful, wonderful, innovating, surprising…I could go on. Every day is varied – a roller coaster experience that few understand and definitely not acceptable playground conversation.

Gifted is like a different set of glasses. Same world, same people, much stronger lens. It means you feel more intensely, hear at a different volume, see everything in a stronger way.  Sometimes this leads to epiphanies and explanations of things much beyond the years. Some days it just means melt downs over loud places, or food or clothing that doesn’t “feel” right.

And I need a place to talk about it, to be excited without fall-out or dirty looks, to vent my frustrations and fears. Maybe, even, to find support or support others who know exactly what I am talking about.

So, here I am.

I have three daughters. Two are gifted, no formal testing yet, but I am really looking forward to when they are old enough for some valid results, for a variety of reasons. My husband is PG. I haven’t ever been extensively tested, but I feel like I fit into the just-gifted-enough-to-be-out-of-sync-with-people category. Just typing that makes me feel awkward, like I am bragging. I’m working on that.

I want my kids to understand who they are, and be able to work with their abilities and sensitivities in order to navigate this world successfully. I wish I had known about overexcitabilities as a child/teen…it would have made so many situations make more sense. I am often grateful for my OE‘s now; they have helped me understand my little ones so much better from the beginning, even if I didn’t have a term for them back then.

I home school, mostly unschool, with some structure thrown in here and there. This is a regular struggle for me…realizing what my five year old will learn if I just leave her alone to learn, and second-guessing whether I am teaching her/exposing her to enough. Listening to my three year old’s vocabulary grow daily, and feeling reassured. Navigating the melt downs, the perfectionisms. Heartened by the progress. The pendulum swings back and forth all the time.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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